It was a year ago today that I was lying in the hospital worried about whether you would make it or not once you would enter this world. The reason why is that you were making your appearance seven weeks early. The doctors told me that you would be very sick, but they had done all they could do. So as I lied there with the contractions coming and going I knew your arrival wouldn’t be postponed any longer. The room was flooded with the dr., nurses, and specialist and then the most wonderful thing happened, with a few short pushes you were here, and I heard the most beautiful sound ever, you cry. I was so relieved that you were crying, it meant to me that you were okay. I didn’t get to hold you, I barely even got to see your face before they whisked you away. The dr. came in a little while later and told me that you were going to have to be transported to Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital in Nashville about 40 miles away. At that moment it felt as if My heart stopped beating, as I had so many questions and no answers. Were you okay? Were you going to survive? What was going on? What weren’t they telling me? I had faith though that you were going to be fine, but it didn’t come immediately, it took a little while. The angel care team came and picked you up from the hospital and assured me that you were going to be fine. I was told that you would be needing to have the breathing tube that they inserted for a while and that I could call in about 2 hours to check on you. So, I waited about an hour and called. Their prediction of you needing the breathing tube was wrong. You were breathing on your own by the time they got you to the hospital, Praise God! I prayed and prayed, pleaded with God to protect you and keep you safe. The very next morning I was up, and dressed, ready to leave the hospital. My dr. came in and didn’t want to discharge me but It didn’t matter what she said I was leaving and she knew it so she agreed to let me go. I went straight to Vanderbilt to see you. They wouldn’t let me hold you immediately, which broke my heart even more. You had wires everywhere. I was finally able to hold you while nursing you but then had to place you back into your bed. It was one of the hardest times of my life. For the next three weeks we approached one battle after another and there was 1 day out of 21 that I made it through without crying. I knew you were going to be okay, but having to leave the hospital every night was so difficult. We were staying at a hotel near the hospital the entire time, there was no convincing me to come home no matter how hard the nurses or dr’s tried. I wasn’t going to leave you. Your daddy, your two brothers who were 1 1/2 and 3 and I were by your side as much as the dr would allow. It was kindof sad though because there weren’t a lot of parents there visiting their babies and the nurses said that it was normal for the parents to not come visit. Anways, we went through several battles and you overcame every single one. The dr’s said you had a heart murmur, and God healed it. You no longer have a heart murmur. The nurses said you wouldn’t nurse, I told them to quit tube feeding you and you would nurse but they insisted on continuing the tube feeds, finally I said DO NOT tube feed him anymore no matter what and the very next morning you were able to come home because you would nurse! I was so happy!

Since then we have had nothing but pleasant memories with you, you have been a great baby. You love snuggle time, playing, and for some reason you love banging your head against mommy’s. We love you so much son, we are so thankful for you. God has blessed us with wonderful children. Thank you son for the past two years of pure happiness. From the moment I found out I was pregnant with you I fell in love with you and that will never change. I love you son, and Happy 1st Birthday!

Hugs and kisses

Love,
Mommy

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